Living the 30s

I really do think that life begins at 30. Well, I'm not saying that I didn't live an interesting and eventful one before turning 30. After all, aren't teenager years about discovery and development? Whew, that's over. And the 20s, was that when I was suppose to grow up and mature? Thankfully that's over too.

I'm amazed recently at the number of changes that have happened since turning 30 and that continue to transpire. Change is like travel to me. I'm addicted to both. But no doubt, change can also be daunting and overwhelming, that is, if you think of it that way.

It's interesting the thoughts and blogs that come to be when one is unwell and homebound with a new computer. There's so much happening nowadays and lying here in bed, I am again reminded that I must be patient, as someone who is sick, but confident as I am recovering. A friend recently reminded me of Rilke, and his book "Letters to a Young Poet". I quote two passages that have always struck me as key:

"Being an artist means: not numbering and counting, but ripening like a tree, which doesn't force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it come to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconsciously silent and vast"

"to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

So, the 30s, I suppose it's about being able to respond with a comfort and attitude of beliefs that make it all seem possible. It's about realizing that what matters is the journey, not the destination.

Well, I'm happy to report that I'm not all grown up and the bigger task now is to live

... being ready to face the strangest, most unusual, most inexplicable experiences

... where there is a reasonable balance between challenging and easy, stretched and bored

... not looking outside, but towards inside in my quietest hour

... always saying what I see, feel, love and lose

... knowing when to walk away

... having my eyes open without having my heart hardened

... trusting myself

... knowing to get up, dust myself off, and laugh

... humbly in the reality of today but always dreaming the bigger picture

... knowing that love is difficult and perhaps the most difficult task entrusted to us

... a flowing state of grace